I started the year single and couldn’t be happier! I used to be this person who’d get someone new right after ending a relationship. Not this time! I spent my winter alone and cozy with my dog doing the usual Netflix and chill. Spring came, and I was still single (how come?!.. oh yeah.. right! Watching tv shows on my sofa was way better than going out in the cold!). But one night during the month of May, after a dinner with a friend, she suggested that I should go back on Tinder just for fun. I told myself why not! I needed to sample the market, right?
And so, in the beginning of July, I went on a dating hiatus.
Because after only 2 months of dating (Yes, two months!), I tried dipping my toe in the dating pool and it didn’t work out for me. Let me tell you, It was bad out there, real bad! Guys were abusing on that ghosting thing. Ghosting (aka someone who lacks honesty and integrity) is a real problem nowadays, so much that I’m considering buying this Halloween costume! So much, I was angry, irritable and not feeling my happy self anymore. I was bitter and angry at men. It’s never a good place to be if you want to date so I withdraw myself from the dating scene to refocus on myself.
I didn’t go back on my sofa but Tinder and Bumble were out and I had the best summer of my twenties! (I spent only two summers as a single girl during my twenties actually!) Now, I know how amazing it is to spend a long time (I planned one year!) by myself. Especially with no one and no dating!
I can focus on myself
I’d say to my 19-year-old self to focus on her career and success. Not to care about guys or being loved. That love comes from within and men can wait. I spent my twenties being distracted by men and relationships, trying to feel loved and validated by another person and I forgot that my dreams were more important than if a guy loves me or not. Success is more important right now and a relationship can wait!
I made new friends and spent more time with my friends
I now invest all the extra time I could spend with a significant other with my friends or new friends! My friendships got deeper and less superficial because I felt more involved and committed to my friends. It was my fault to disappear when I was in a relationship but now I know the importance of prioritizing your friends and balancing your time between friends and a relationship!
My life isn’t boring now
I’m not anti-relationship but there’s nothing more boring than to see someone who’s in a relationship doing the same fuck*ng thing every damn weekend with their SO. Netflix and chill, working on your computer next to each other with zero date night will be the death of me. I would rather go chase a tornado than spending one more repetitive, boring weekend with a boring boyfriend in a boring relationship. Yawning!
Bye bae! I’m leaving you, I’m gonna chase tornadoes!
But seriously, I was in some boring relationships, the ones that you feel stuck in a rut and when you’re out of it, you realized how less productive you were and how a relationship shouldn’t become boring after a year. Your life becomes busier and filled with activities, events, fun and excitement when you’re single!
I have more time for me
The amount of time that we have when we’re single is insane! Even now, I complained a lot I don’t have enough time, I can’t imagine trying to squeeze someone in my schedule! Take advantage of the time you have now to do whatever you feel like doing! Because after that, you might have almost zero time to do it!
I don’t have to worry about someone else
There’s no more drama in my life! And damn it feels good! No more roller coster of emotions, no more disappointments, no more compromises, no more false promises….. Only me and my emotions to deal with. I might sound selfish but I needed a break and sometimes it’s okay to worry only about yourself. Sometimes we’re not in a place we can deal with someone else’s emotions and needs and that’s also okay.
Being single is amazing and you can live your life the way you want and be 100% yourself! F*ck society and what people say how you should be in a relationship! The number of time I got “Whaaatt! You! You’re single! I don’t believe you!”, “A girl like you should be married by now!”, “Why a girl like you doesn’t have a boyfriend??” or “Next Christmas, it would be nice to see a boyfriend with you here (Thanks mom!)” It’s annoying but people are conditioned to think we can’t function without someone else with us. Like something isn’t right. But it is right, they just didn’t realize they are the miserable ones and you’re having the time of your life! haha! They all secretly envy us, the single ones!
P.s I’m close to resume back the dating life (gotta take a peek at the market right now!) Should I write about it? Hope this time it won’t be THAT terrible!
Until next time!